Many view personal transformation as a linear journey, where we set a clear course for change and expect smooth sailing until we reach our desired destination. We hope to avoid significant challenges, setbacks, or detours that might delay our progress. However, the reality is that change, especially behavior change, rarely follows a linear path—it’s more like a series of ups and downs, zigs and zags. Sometimes it’s even the dreaded “one step forward and two steps back”.

Embracing Struggles: The Path to Learning and Growth

What if these struggles and bumps along the road to transformation are actually part of the process, providing opportunities for learning and personal growth? And what if those challenges teach us valuable insights about ourselves and our goals that we wouldn’t gain otherwise? I love the quote by India’s 11th president, Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam – “FAIL means First Attempt In Learning”. It’s a perspective I’ve come to embrace over time and you can too!

Overcoming Setbacks with Self-Compassion

As we embark on a journey toward better health, personal transformation, or any behavior change, we often set lofty, even unrealistic, expectations. Then, if we fall short – indulging in treats, missing workouts, or succumbing to bad habits – we believe we’ve somehow failed. This can lead to harsh self-judgment and negative self-talk that we would never utter to another human being. We are left feeling discouraged, uninspired, and unmotivated for the next step along the journey. It doesn’t need to be that way. Approaching setbacks with curiosity and self-compassion, instead of self-criticism, enables us to learn and build momentum that propels us forward.

Rewiring Our Brains: The Power of Conscious Competence

It’s important to understand that change isn’t just about behavior; it’s about rewiring our brains. Within every one of us lies an incredible capacity to create new neural pathways of our choosing. It’s a bit like driving in deep snow where a clear and well-worn path is already established. The car seems to effortlessly follow the existing ruts in the road, however, with clear intention and a bit of effort we can create new pathways to take us on a new journey of our choosing. Soon, the old well-worn path becomes covered by new snow, making it almost imperceptible and eventually undesirable.

The Conscious Competence Learning Model: A Framework for Transformation

Originating in the 1960s within the Management Training program at New York University, the Conscious Competence Learning Model gained traction in the 1970s through Noel Burch, who dubbed it the “four stages for learning any new skill.” Central to this model is the most crucial stage of “awakening” or “noticing.” Without this foundational awareness, we’re essentially operating on autopilot, missing out on the opportunity for personal evolution.

Here’s the exciting part: once we grasp how this process operates, it becomes a lifelong tool for learning, behavior change, and personal transformation. It allows us to achieve more with less struggle and more empowerment. Count me in!

1. Unconscious Incompetence: The Starting Point

In this stage, we aren’t even aware that a problem, knowledge gap, or behavior change needs attention. While some may argue that “ignorance is bliss,” I don’t believe that, and I’m sure you don’t either.

2. Conscious Incompetence: Awakening to Change

This is where the magic begins! In this stage, we awaken to the realization that something isn’t quite right and that change is necessary. This awareness can occur through the guidance of a doctor, a loved one, or through honest self-reflection and an attitude of non-judgmental curiosity. Engaging in intentional practices like journaling, meditation, or quiet contemplation can be excellent starting points. It is a time to question aspects of your life, such as your diet, and consider how making improvements could enhance your well-being. Similarly, reflecting on your relationship with sugar, work, alcohol, social media, or exercise can be enlightening.

While self awareness is crucial for personal growth, it can also be a challenging and overwhelming aspect of the journey. Often, we lack the necessary skills to initiate or cease the behaviors we wish to change. Additionally, without a clear understanding of this framework, we may become stuck and hesitant to take action due to the uncertainties that change can bring. Thoughts like “This will be too difficult,” “I already eat fairly well,” “How will I socialize without wine?” or “What about my ice cream?” are common at this stage, along with the infamous, “I’ll start next week” mentality. We’ve all been there.

Rest assured, the inner chatter you experience is your brain’s way of trying to keep you safe. As humans, we often struggle with change. However, adopting a curious mindset and treating change as an experiment can ease the tension in your brain and nervous system. Remember, you don’t have to commit to this change forever, although after experiencing the incredible benefits, you might want to!

3. Conscious Competence: Actively Learning and Growing

In this stage, the focus shifts to implementing the changes we wish to see in our behavior. Perhaps you’ve delved into a few articles on the topic and explored ideas on getting started. Now, armed with newfound knowledge about the benefits and a few actionable steps, you are primed to begin. A friend of mine often said, “You aren’t born with it,” implying that sometimes we don’t know what we don’t know, and that’s perfectly normal. It presents an opportunity for growth, experimentation with new approaches, and learning from both successful and unsuccessful attempts along the journey.

Admittedly, this requires conscious awareness, energy, and practice. After all, you are forging new neural pathways in the brain. Referring back to the deep snow analogy, you may encounter a few hurdles and need to adjust your pace – sometimes slower, sometimes faster – to forge the new path. It is honest self-reflection that allows us to glean lessons from what worked and what didn’t. Your journey may not mirror others’, just as your vehicle may not have the same traction or tools such as a plow or snow tires. Patience in this stage can turn each stumble into an opportunity for introspection and new insight.

4. Unconscious Competence: Mastery and Beyond

Finally, we reach a point where the new behavior is so familiar it becomes the default. Gone are the conscious effort and struggles of earlier stages. Over time, the old neural pathways fade from disuse, and we wonder why we ever found this challenging. Now, the old route is no longer even a consideration; we effortlessly navigate the new, more scenic path we intentionally designed. Moreover, we’ve gained new skills and confidence, making it easier to blaze a new trail next time!

Embrace Self-Awareness on Your Journey

Why not give it a try? Start with self-reflection and cultivating awareness to see where it leads. After all, self-awareness is a gift on the road to transformation, putting you in the driver’s seat when it comes to personal health and wellness.

I hope you enjoy the journey!
Patty